Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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