Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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