don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
