Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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