I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
