My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
