If that was your dad, he is hot
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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