She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
