I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
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