The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
