Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So many bounce houses so little time
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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