I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dicks are not precious.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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