hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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