can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize