some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize