i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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