Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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