dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
