Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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