none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
