Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
