Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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