I'm sorry my penis didn't work
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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