He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
