Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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