so that wasnt chicken after all
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
