i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
