I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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