cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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