I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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