DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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