): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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