I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
