just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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