You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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