i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
