We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
