Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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