so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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