How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Randomize