I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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