just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore