I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I will be naked everywhere
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!