billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard