So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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