I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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