her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
