Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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