Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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