Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
