note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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