Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
