Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
