Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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