3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Randomize
